For my first two years at university, I met some great guys. Nothing lasting came from it. In most cases, I saw the guy a couple of times in the span of a week and I, him, or both concluded that whatever we had wasn’t the start of a great love-story. Beginning to like someone and then have your hopes for a future quickly be obliterated is like being handed a tray with a burger and fries, trying a fry, and then having a seagull shit all over your food.
I reacted to the pain that followed with mild self-destruction. I would eat chocolate mousse and apples until the lining of my pants cut painfully into my bloated stomach. I would neglect my responsibilities. Instead of doing work, I would go on hour long walks during which I fished up my phone every couple of minutes to see if “he” had texted. I often felt like a sad looser. Thankfully, amongst the self-destructive behaviours there was one thing I did that was good. A speck of gold amongst turds.
Out of habit and routine, I dutifully continued going to the gym. Anxious and staring at the floor, I dragged myself into the gym and did the things I usually did at the gym. Lifted dumbbells, pushed weights, made my body crackle, grunted. If anything, feeling heartbroken improved my workouts. I had more anxious energy to get rid of and I channelled that energy into my workouts. A broken heart can make your butt bigger.
Always, exercising left me feeling better. Not always enough to feel okay, I would sometimes binge on food and feel bad for myself in the evening anyways, but I’m sure that the severity of my mild self-destructive behaviours was less when I worked out versus if I hadn’t worked out. Exercising, sometimes against my will, had a good ripple effect too. The day ahead became easier.
I could have prevented some of my pain by having a different perspective on dating to begin with. After all, why be upset over having your burger and fries shat all over, when you’ve only had a fry? You can’t judge a dish by one fry. But that’s not the topic of this post. The topic is once I found myself hurt, what helped. Working out helped.
Guys may damage your heart, but the pain they leave you with can help you build your glutes.
